Survival
by MyTwistedTruth
Summary: One Shot. The last night of a Death Eater who dared to feel, if only for a second. Dark


A/N: Set 1979/1980ish.. This is my first ever one shot, I hope you enjoy!

So here I was again. Back at the bar which hadn't changed a bit in four whole years. Only three people actually knew I was back to my knowledge and my knowledge tended to be good. I wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't. One of those always knew where I was, always knew where all of us were... The other two? Well they were just special, two complete opposites really. And one of them was just going to have to be disappointed with me. But he was always the one disappointed with me and I had yet to care what someone else thought. Apart from the Dark Lord of course but the day you stopped caring about what he thought was the day you needed to leave the country.

The fog had been the first thing I'd noticed when I returned. It was the most refreshing thing, the feel of success over here despite my own mission being thwarted at every turn. Between the Order and Aurors I was lucky to have gained any support for the Dark Lord on my travels. One, very influential, recruitee had saved me from punishment - The Headmaster of Durmstrang. With him came a few older pupils and it had fanned out from there. Numbers had never been greater, we'd actually done it. Taken over. Just like he'd promised me after my parents had thrown me out. They had suffered for that and I still held no regrets over it, after the way they'd treated my ambitions as childish idealism I doubted I ever would. I'd returned to success and welcomes but moral was low. Three of our number had just been killed by Aurors sparking dutifully reported rumours that the Dark Lord was losing his touch in protecting us. I didn't need protection, apparently my long black hair and blue eyes shone with innocence. According to Slughorn anyway, I'd been part of his little club on looks alone. Malfoy made me stay, attend meetings, bat eyelashes for the little information it could provide. At the time it had rankled, I'd fought him but lost. I'd learnt skills in the Slug Club that had kept me alive after school. I'd left after my OWLs and gone straight into the service of the Dark Lord, he'd taught me spells that didn't compare to what was taught at Hogwarts and packed me straight off on my recruitment mission.

I heard the revving of a motorcycle outside. And here came idiot number one with his long hair and his leather robes. I was suprised he wasn't accompanied by Potter, between them they'd gone out of their way to make the lives of us Slytherins fairly miserable. Or try in my case. I'd almost gotten expelled for what I'd done to them when they started on me and wasn't touched again. Well... That was a slight lie but the second case of 'touching' had been a favour for Black's poor mother who had taken me in after my parents threw me out. Well, supplied a roof over my head until I got myself sorted out. 'Taken me in' implies that we got along but I was half blooded. So no chance but I did feel sorry for her after what he did to her. Black had gone out of his way to put her through hell and all she wanted was what was best for him. And what was best for anyone with half a brain was to join us. Idiot numero uno strode up to the bar, exuding confidence. Prat.  
"Hey the bitch has returned!" He tried to place his arm around my shoulders but a quick stinging hex soon fixed that problem.  
"Well you haven't changed." I had no time to waste, I had other places to be tonight. I needed to dispense threat and get out of here. "Look, I actually called you for a reason. So quit with the sentimentals." I organised my face into a look of concern, if I pulled this off it would pull an Auror out of the fight and into the firing line.  
"Sounds serious... Are you OK?" I bit my lips and wiped my, tear free, eyes. I looked around us as if checking we were clear of eavesdroppers. I'd done this as a matter of procedure as soon as I settled by the bar anyway but the more I seemed concerned.  
"No," I managed to produce a nice dramatic tear and allowed it to roll down my cheek. He knew me, he knew I wouldn't show weakness unless I knew there would be no repercussions. "They've found out about the Longbottom's. About Alice..." No further details, just in case the original spy had missed something. I let him squeeze my arm reassuringly. "And after Reggie, I'm scared. What they're talking about doing to her..." Regulus had deserved what had been coming to him. He had been as cowardly with his duty as his brother had been with their mother.  
"What does he know Alana?", quietly now all joking gone from his voice. I almost had him. I thought about what my master would do should I fail in this and more tears were not long in coming. I tried to seem incoherent in my distress. "Do they know about the baby? Alana! Dumbledore will protect you if you tell me the truth now! They won't get you, I'll make sure of it." No we did not know about the baby... We knew she had recently passed the Auror exams and were trying to get her in a position where she would become an easy target. Pregnant? Fantastic! Sirius' urgency gave me another idea. Could I pretend I'd gotten cold feet and run with him? Get my master information from the inside? I was tempted to take the opportunity and leave now. If it hadn't been for my other mission tonight I would have but I was forced to nod my head and attempt to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Ok. Ok. I'll sort this out Alana I promise. Keep fighting it." And with that he left. Oh poor predictable Sirius, always doing the right thing, the weak thing.

A white hanky was passed over my shoulder, I snatched it and turned to face Severus. When had he gotten hot? I remembered a skinny little boy who skulked about the castle avoiding eye contact wherever possible. The man I was faced with had black eyes you could lose forever in... I snapped myself back to reality. Strength came with not feeling. If I wanted to round off my evening with some bed sports that was fine but duty to the Dark Lord came first.  
"You're acting skills are as shoddy as ever. How was Europe?" Some things hadn't changed then. Bastard.  
"Great, drink, sun, sea, sand, no authorities to speak of..." I chose to ignore the jab at my acting. I didn't know what he had heard and wasn't sharing information I didn't have to. Tonight was my victory. "What are you doing following me anyway?"  
"The Dark Lord has asked me to assist you tonight. He wants you back at the Manor with results quickly tonight." Believable... Especially with the importance of what I had been asked to retrieve and if he was lying he wouldn't live out the night. Messing with the work of the Dark Lord was punishable by a not necessarily quick death. I rolled my eyes and Apparated him to where we needed to be.

An old Muggle mansion lay in front of us, apparantly within it there lay a staff essential for the Dark Lord's plans. I didn't question further than that, it wasn't necessary. The Dark Lord wanted it so I would die to get it. He also needed time, meaning that the staff could not be found missing for at least a week. I had watched the mansion today and figured as long as the gardener remained alive to collect their mail there was no need for any of the others to live. Severus agreed, although conservatively. He had never been into moronic violence as much as the rest of us, he was always found subtler ways to cause pain. I had to take an intelligent guess that the staff would be on display as an heirloom somewhere and hopefully not locked in an attic. I was hoping for some time for myself tonight, my new flat awaited my judgement and my new bath awaited trial. I cast freezing charms on all of the burgler alarms I could see and sprung the lock on the front door. I'd learnt over the years never to use workmens entrances, they were likely to contain more people. Snobs liked to feel special and the resistance the lock gave suggested it was hardly ever used. A device on the wall on the inside of the door started bleeping urgently. Shit. I slunk into the shadows forgetting that Severus was behind me as I moved. I was far too used to working alone. He steadied me but didn't let go of my waist. I was almost as tall as he was and could feel his breath on the back of my neck. So it was going to be one of THOSE missions. This would be the third half blood Death Eater that had tried to get into my pants during a mission. The first two I'd made sit outside and explain to the Dark Lord why they hadn't helped me out afterwards. I think it amused him to see us wound up sometimes.

A torch lit from along the corridor. I couldn't see the person on the end of it and needed to get closer to get my aim in.  
"Help!" I bleeted and felt Severus shake me violently. I grinned up at him. "Help he's got a gun, don't let him hurt me!"  
"Pathetic," he growled in my ear.  
"Alright," said the Muggle, semi authoritively, "Let her go and I won't call the police, I promise." Severus physically threw me at the man who caught me to steady me, gun still pointed at Severus. Would I get into trouble if he was shot? I held my wand against the Muggle's chest and looked into big brown eyes. I always did that, let them know it was me with the power, I was death and they were mine. He looked at me uncomprehending and confused.  
"Avada Kedavra," I whispered with my eyes closed, feeling him go limp against me. Death was so much more enjoyable felt rather than merely seen. Tonight was going to be very enjoyable. I grabbed his torch from him, why waste use of my wand, and felt around the skirting where I knew Muggles kept their phonelines. Presumably the one nearest the door would cut the whole lot. I'd been caught out by phones before and severed it. Severus lost patience with the ringing device and blasted it. I hoped it had attracted more attention - that Muggle hadn't satisfied me by a long shot.

I led us forwards into a hallway with staircases framing the room. If the Muggles were keeping it on display it was likely downstairs but where were they?  
"Split up?" I said, seeing no other way of proceeding. "You take upstairs, I'll do down." I wanted to find something to take home and play with tonight, I wondered if he'd be up for it. I'd never really gotten to know Severus, he'd always kept himself to himself at school avoiding the bloody Marauders like the rest of us. He'd been there to do my homework for me and that was about it. I trailed into a drawing room, facing three young girls. I hated killing children, hated it. They were too young to understand what we were fighting for, that they were on the wrong side. But they had to die. No emotion, no weakness. My mantra that got me through everything, including this. They lay afterwards like little dolls, ready to be dressed up. I blurred the image and moved into the next room. There was the staff, in a glass cabinet above the study desk. With my mind still partly on the little girls in the drawing room I smashed the glass and grabbed the staff without thinking. Alarms blazed. Shit. I had no idea where to start turning them off. I ran back through to the main hallway and found Severus waiting for me. Odd, not like him not to leg it first opportunity. He grabbed my arm painfully and Apparated us back to the Manor.

"Fool!" he hissed, knowing that we would now face punishment for blowing our cover. My information about Alice Longbottom only served to shorten my punishment slightly, the fact we had obtained the staff meant nothing to him. I lay on the ground after it was over watching Severus being put through the same ordeal I had just gone through. I knew to stay stock still on the ground until our master chose to leave the room, if he wasn't finished with us and we moved without permission it would only get worse. He kicked Severus firmly in the stomach on the way out of the room and locked the door behind him. I saw something flicker behind Severus' eyes then the shutters slammed shut. No emotion, no weakness. But we were going to die. I knew it. We were trapped here, he was only giving us time to think about it. It had been too big a fuck-up, I'd effectively alerted the Order to my master's intentions. I sat up, feeling myself panic, the punishment only now truly beginning. Severus was studying me, shutters still up. Was he expecting me to find a way out of this? No emotion, no weakness... Then he moved, grabbing me roughly and kissing me before I knew what he was planning. I moved away - this was Severus the greased wonder after all. Then I moved back, letting myself slide underneath him. What did we have to lose now anyway? I melted into his arms and he kissed me slower and more gently by the second. Then he stopped and I felt the trap snap around me. I looked into his eyes and saw that the shutters had never lifted, not even for a second. The tip of his wand pressed against my chest, my wand arm was pinned under his. The Dark Lord wanted only powerful Death Eaters, clever spies and not failures. If that meant we had to be played against each other so be it. How could I have forgotten that? This whole night had been a set up and I had just lost every advantage I'd worked to gain. Severus waited until he was satisfied my lesson had been learnt and kissed my forehead while murmuring softly the words I had said to so many others before now.

"Avada Kedavra."


End file.
